It can be painful when you choose ART, as your way of providing a life for yourself, in this world/economy. Some days – I’ll say 1 out of every 30 for me – you decide you must be completely nuts. Today, for most of the day, I felt as though I must be completely off my rocker for not having a normal day job, with a steady paycheck. A career where everything doesn’t feel so personal. Art is personal. Critiques, good and bad, are personal. Some of us are better at taking the hits than others, but we all take the hits! So, when you haven’t gotten to the level of success you want, whether that be in popularity or payment, or both (raises hand) well it’s rough to keep going, a smile on your face all day, every day.
I sat around, in, and/or on a desk for fifteen years, before I gave up all the glamour of having a steady income, to be a starving artist! I didn’t hate my job, it was awesome (well ten of the years were), so that’s not even a good excuse, lol. It must have been insanity, right?
No, no, in all honesty the last few years of day jobbing it were much less awesome and the more I sat there, bored the more and more unhappy I became. And the more this idea of writing novels for a living became the goal. So, on one hand I made my goal and now is just the frustrating time between this goal and the next, where part of the work is keeping up a worthy attitude, a positive perspective and occasionally letting myself have a “What the hell are you doing”, kind of day! 🙂
I love it – 29 out of 30 days. Pretty decent odds really. It’s the days, like today, when I have to remind myself how important it is to do something you love, how amazing it is to feel passionate about your work, how lucky I am to be in this position – Oh and of course, how grateful I am going to be when all of this work leads to a steadier paycheck, the joy of mass book sales, and a few fewer hits to my tough exterior!
There is a saying that we are generally as happy as we allow ourselves to be. So, today I will do the grumpy, sourpuss, starving artist thing. Then tomorrow, I am going to hop back on the happy, positive, artist on the rise thing!
Wishing you all well – in fiction and in life,